Fiveron the Malcolm Glazer Debacle
The Fiver rocks today, yesterday rather. Haven't slept yet.
Fat Yankie,
and The Tall Guy
GO ROWDIES!
Pension-thief and failed swimmer Robert Maxwell couldn't do it, ball-juggling fantasist Michael Knighton couldn't do it, and even tax-avoiding tycoon Rupert Murdoch couldn't do it: but today, Malcolm Glazer slung his bloated belly over his shoulder and, amid triumphant cackles, declared to the world that he has taken control of Manchester United soccerball after buying up Irish racing barons JP McManus and John Magnier's 28.7% stake.
Tracked down to York racecourse and asked to explain his 300p-per-share sell-out, Magnier snooted: "I don't want to talk about it, I want to talk about horses!" The Coolmore Mafia's decision means that Glazer now owns a thumping 56.9% of United, although - as you'd expect from someone who took his six sisters to court over their mother's will - he's not happy with sharing and has now launched a full takeover bid reported to be worth £790.3m.
Strangely the plc's fans, who've banded together under the nonsensical banner 'the Not For Sale Coalition', have been scratching their heads in befuddlement. "This is by no means over," Oliver Houston, of Shareholders United, insisted. "Our message to Glazer and to people daft enough to lend him all this money is that you are going to see a very sharp fall in profits. Manchester United is going to become an extremely tainted brand." If what's gone on recently with Rio and Rooney hasn't tainted it already, of course.
Despite the fans' defiance, things don't look good. If Glazer increases his stake to 75% he'll be able to shift all his debts on to the club, and if he gobbles 90% he can make a compulsory purchase of the remaining 10%. Then, since his aim is to raise United's popularity in the US, there's nothing to stop him changing the club's name to the MU Rowdies, ordering Wayne Rooney to further fatten up (so American kids can identify with him), or even replacing Sir Alex with David Hasselhoff - although at least the Hoff would be able to spot that Roy Keane's best days are behind him, if nothing else.
The Fiver is written by Paul Doyle and Georgina Turner
Thursday May 12, 2005 "
Fat Yankie,
and The Tall Guy
GO ROWDIES!
Pension-thief and failed swimmer Robert Maxwell couldn't do it, ball-juggling fantasist Michael Knighton couldn't do it, and even tax-avoiding tycoon Rupert Murdoch couldn't do it: but today, Malcolm Glazer slung his bloated belly over his shoulder and, amid triumphant cackles, declared to the world that he has taken control of Manchester United soccerball after buying up Irish racing barons JP McManus and John Magnier's 28.7% stake.
Tracked down to York racecourse and asked to explain his 300p-per-share sell-out, Magnier snooted: "I don't want to talk about it, I want to talk about horses!" The Coolmore Mafia's decision means that Glazer now owns a thumping 56.9% of United, although - as you'd expect from someone who took his six sisters to court over their mother's will - he's not happy with sharing and has now launched a full takeover bid reported to be worth £790.3m.
Strangely the plc's fans, who've banded together under the nonsensical banner 'the Not For Sale Coalition', have been scratching their heads in befuddlement. "This is by no means over," Oliver Houston, of Shareholders United, insisted. "Our message to Glazer and to people daft enough to lend him all this money is that you are going to see a very sharp fall in profits. Manchester United is going to become an extremely tainted brand." If what's gone on recently with Rio and Rooney hasn't tainted it already, of course.
Despite the fans' defiance, things don't look good. If Glazer increases his stake to 75% he'll be able to shift all his debts on to the club, and if he gobbles 90% he can make a compulsory purchase of the remaining 10%. Then, since his aim is to raise United's popularity in the US, there's nothing to stop him changing the club's name to the MU Rowdies, ordering Wayne Rooney to further fatten up (so American kids can identify with him), or even replacing Sir Alex with David Hasselhoff - although at least the Hoff would be able to spot that Roy Keane's best days are behind him, if nothing else.
The Fiver is written by Paul Doyle and Georgina Turner
Thursday May 12, 2005 "
posted by knikik at 7:24 AM
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